It’s the taboo topic that many shy away from, but May-December relationships have been going on as long as humans have been around. They aren’t the norm, but they happen. A woman dating an older man has always carried a bit of stigma to it- he must be a pervert and she must be a golddigger. This isn’t necessarily true. Still, the decision of whether to pursue a relationship with that older gentleman is still one that must be well thought out. A few things to consider:
- Why are you pursuing this relationship: Is he very loving? Do you get along? Does he spoil you with gifts? Going into a relationship for the wrong reasons is always a bad idea, but going into one as delicate as one with an older man has an extra layer of drama. Make sure your intentions are pure.
- Why is he pursuing the relationship: Let’s face it, a good number of men go after women in a certain age range because they are easier to manipulate and exploit. It’s a ‘catch them young’ mentality. Some only want sex with a younger woman and some just want to feel young themselves. Assess his character thoroughly and if anything feels wrong, trust your gut.
- How does he treat you: One of the biggest problems that face couples with an age difference is the older party ‘talking down’ to the younger one or not giving them their due respect. It could happen that the older man won’t see you as his equal, intellectually or otherwise. Ensure that this isn’t the case and you are being treated with love and respect.
- Don’t become too dependent: Relationships are meant for intimacy and vulnerability, but too much of anything is a bad thing. Don’t get to a point where you depend on him emotionally. Also, don’t develop the habit of becoming a ‘kept woman’ or having him pay for everything for you. After all, he’s your partner, not your sugar daddy (if that’s what you’re looking for then this probably isn’t for you).
- Are you compatible long-term: If you are dating a man of say, 45, you have to look at where you are in your life and see if the two are compatible. You might be 22 and still want to be wild and party while he wants to slow down and get married. He might want a mature wife-figure and you might still be young a figuring yourself out (as you should, it’s not your job to rush your life to meet up with his). You might be vibrant and active and he might have some age-related conditions you aren’t ready to deal with.
- Are you ready: Dating an older man isn’t the same as dating someone your own age. Are you mentally ready to deal with that?
All things considered, a relationship with someone older isn’t something to jump into, but at the end of the day, it is a decision that only you can make,