Have you ever had a moment with a friend or family that they asked for something and you said “no” and they get so upset? You can say “yes” a thousand times, but the moment you say “no” everything you ever did is out the door.
More times than we think, we have people in our lives because of what we can do for them. For example, the type of person I am, i’m very giving and I don’t really look for a reason to do things for people – I just do.
Most of the people in my life would always tell me, “These people aren’t your friends, they just want things from you. Can’t you see that?” but I’ve always been the kind of person to give people the benefit of the doubt. As I got older, my mom would continue to tell me that about family as well. She always said, “Don’t let anyone take advantage of you. Everyone is just out for themselves. You need to open your eyes and see what real life is.”
I slowly started to understand what she meant. At a point in my life, I had some financial struggles which caused me to stop being so free-hearted with my friends and from that moment on, I lost so many friends. I told a one person “no” and we haven’t spoke since 2011 and she tells our mutual friends that I am selfish and a bad friend. I lost another one in 2014 and the same thing happen. All because I was having a tough time and I couldn’t be so giving as I use to.
I even learned with family, you could give them your last, but if you say “no, this is for me,” you’ll be enemy number one. I have seen family members fight my dad because he refused to assist. Some even go as far as spreading rumours and swearing by the fact that he was such a bas person and when they are asked why, they don’t have a reason.
The moment you start doing things for people, they feel a sense of entitlement to everything you own. People feel as though the things you do are your obligations to them and instead of being appreciative and realizing the good you do for them, they become ungrateful.
The moment you even utter the word “no”, you’ll see who is really in your corner and I can assure you 80% will straight up turn their backs on you.