I made him dinner every night. Cleaned his house and ironed his clothes. I hosted his friends. I got up early before my workday and made sure he was set for his day. I rearranged my schedule to make sure I could take care of his needs. I picked up his favorite snacks when we had movie night. I gave him any money i had on me when he needed it.

I got home early once and found out he had been cheating on me and had a secret child on me. The pain of discovering he was cheating on me was so hurtful when I realized that our entire relationship consisted of me acting like his wife—when he truly hadn’t treated me like his girlfriend yet.

Happily, i have moved on and married the man of my dreams that treats me like a queen. I found someone better for myself that truly makes me feel genuine happiness.

Yet, I still see people making the mistake i make. Women believing they needed to act like a wife for their partner to see them as a potential life partner and that will lead to marriage. The truth is, that is a lie. Don’t get me wrong, if a man is good to you, you be good to him. There’s nothing wrong with cooking for him or pampering him but make sure you are not blinded with love googles and he is truly treating you right.


Girl, playing house is for kids. Grown folks will set clear boundaries in their relationships, which carry over into their marriages. You shouldn’t have to take care of his house, his body or his money to convince him to marry you. You are his girlfriend, not his wife. Act like it. You can still do all these things but it is not your sole responsibility.

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