In many places (particularly Africa), being single is looked upon with disdain and a sense of pity. It’s either you’re a sad soul who can’t get a man or some unserious person who isn’t taking her life seriously enough. A lot of these are nothing but misconceptions, but with time, it’s is easy to internalize them. Internalizing these things leads to a cycle of self-pity and sadness. For a lot of women, the single period is simply a time of waiting in loneliness until happiness (in form of a relationship) comes along. The problem with that mode of thinking is that it is detrimental not only to the person but to the future relationship.

Relationships work best when there are two complete human beings coming together as one, not when one needy person without any outside happiness or validation clings to another. To be truly happy in a relationship, it is important to be happy in singleness. With the ever-growing obsession with relationships, it can seem very difficult to be happy single, but with a few steps, it can be done.

  • Be comfortable in your own silence. Being single involves just that, being single. On paper, it might seem painfully depressing, but it doesn’t have to be. It will take time, but you should learn to be comfortable by yourself. Go to a movie alone. Go out to fun places by yourself. Learn to derive some enjoyment by yourself. Even when you are in a relationship, there will be times where your significant other will be away. What happens then? Your future relationships and partner will be happier when you are happy being your own person.

* Create a support system: One of our biggest reasons for craving relationships is to have a sense of support in the world. However, you don’t have to wait for a relationship to get this. Between friends, family, community and even your own self, a support system can be created.

  • Hobbies: Believe it or not, a lot of people have no actual hobbies. Between working, church, and home, many people have nothing else going on. Get yourself some hobbies. Take a class in something. Develop an interest in some aspect of the world. The more hobbies you have, the busier you’ll be to brood about your single status. Plus, it’s actually a great way to meet people.
  •  Create joy for yourself: Do some bomb makeup. Take a road trip. Eat something nice. The point of this guide is to be happy while single. This means doing whatever gives you joy. Your single time is for enjoying life without the constraints of being in a relationship.

Now get out there single ladies and be happy!

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