Ever met that girl that is irritatingly nice and accommodating of everyone’s excesses, talks cute, is always open to helping people, and never shows her ‘other’ side? Don’t worry your head so much if you haven’t, I just described my old self. I used to be a big people pleaser. I’m sure I have won an award or five on pleasing people. That was until I had a terrible experience recently and I’m having to think about life.

The thing is, as the eldest child in a Nigerian home, I grew up with the understanding that I have to be responsible for everyone, from my siblings to my parents, and any one who came my way. This has hugely influenced my life in a positive way but I recently started having to consider if I am not over doing it.

I’m not saying I want to stop being nice and selfless. God, no!! I wouldn’t dare! I am all for doing all you can for anyone and everyone. But I’m at that point in my life where I’m beginning to feel the need to do things more for myself and for how I feel about what I want to do as against doing something for someone because it is what is expected from me.

Someone said this makes me selfish, but shouldn’t I be? Just a little? I mean, it’s my life. I have the right to do what I love, what makes me happy. Life is too short to spend my days doing things that I’m not happy with. What is then the purpose of my living if I am not doing things for my personal happiness? These are some of the thoughts I have been having and I know that I am not alone in this.

Maybe it’s just me but I have got to ask. Have you been feeling empty lately because, despite your efforts at being nice and selfless to other people, you don’t feel fulfilled or satisfied with what you have done? If you are at that point in your life, where your efforts are not bringing you the much needed peace and satisfaction you deserve and desire, maybe it is time to take a break and be selfish for once. do something for yourself.

As humans, we have an extremely high capacity to love, help, nurture, and give off ourselves to others. But if we are not in our best frame of mind, we can not optimally give to ourselves or the world. And that is as wrong as it sounds.

So, from this minute, please take time out everyday to be selfish. Plan a spa date for yourself, visit the movies alone, go have some fancy dinner all by yourself. Why? Because you are a beautiful woman who has been working so hard and deserves all the best things the world can offer. And if the world is too blind to see it, do it for yourself and show the world that you are all of that and a plate of small chops!

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