Do you know that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with? If you hang out with four broke people you will be the fifth, and if you hang out with four business minded people you will be the fifth. I can tell you this for free; the people you associate with regularly have a major influence on your personal success. Although it is understandable that your squad consists of the same girls you have known since kindergarten, but to become your best self, you must evaluate your squad and relinquish toxic relationships that may have expired years ago. Here are some need-to-knows on how to build your ideal girl circle:

1) The Law of Attraction: The truth is in order to attract great friends, you need to work on being the type of person anyone going somewhere would want to have around. Thus, you can start by looking within and working on cultivating those characters you would like to see in your friends.

2) Aim higher: If you know exactly what you want to be, you need to align yourself with people who are actually that already because your mindset will operate at the standard that is offered by the people around you. Do not aim to be the smartest of your squad. If you are the smartest, find smarter friends. In order for you to grow and go to your next level, your squad must consist of others who are doing better than you without you being intimidated by their success. Hang out with people who force you to level up.

3) Choose goal-setters, go-getters, and those who have a thirst for knowledge: Whether or not you have these characteristics already, you will need friends like these to build up what you have. It is difficult to be around people who are ambitious and goal-oriented in life and still remain the same. These people do not waste time on frivolous pursuits; they keep you on your toes, and you keep learning from each other as you journey through different stages of life. Surround yourself with people who talk about visions, ideas, and practical ways to achieve them. In order for you to be a game-changer, you need to surround yourself with game-changers.

4) Chin up we have got this (You need a support system): With the right support from your squad, you will always go farther and further. Support can be spiritual, economic or social. Surround yourself with people who bring happiness, growth and positive energy into your life. Your friends have to be those who are secure enough to be supportive whether you are shinning or struggling. Stay away from conflictive, negative people because they contaminate your energy and impede your progress. Search for the people who look at the world with optimism and inspire you. Choose people that connect with you all the time; not just the strong you, but the vulnerable you; not just the put-together you, but the wig-out, I-feel-fat-today you. Everyone needs a no-matter-what friend, someone they can call no matter what, someone they can vent to no matter what.
Now a supportive friend is not necessarily a cheerleader. You need people that are bold enough to say I love you, but that doesnt look good on you, why not try this instead”. Good friends can say tough things to you because they care enough to critique you. The sign of an imposter is those that say only what you want to hear. You need to be able to tell the difference.

5) Believers who truly celebrate you: In the competitive world we live in today, friends like these are a rare find. People are happy you are doing well as long as you are not doing better than they are. So when you find a squad that genuinely celebrates you, hang on to them. If the people in your circle get offended when you try to do better, you just know that you have the wrong crew. You need to pluck them out like weed.

6) Your weakness is her strength: As much as you need people who share similar interests, you also need someone on your squad who compliments your weaknesses. If for example you have a friend who has good money habits while you dont, in order to cultivate this positive habit, you need her help to tap into this skill. On the other hand, you could be good at public speaking while she is not so outspoken, since she needs to be an effective communicator, she needs your help in this regard and this is how iron sharpens iron.

7) Pray: After meticulously selecting your squad, you have to allow God who sees the heart of all to become the final determinant factor on who stays and who leaves. Sometimes, it takes more courage than we realise to let some relationships go, but when people walk away, let them. Just because you are at peace doesn’t mean they are not still toxic and just because they are not part of your squad doesn’t necessarily make them bad. The love is not necessarily lost if the friendship is not so healthy. You can very well still love such people from a distance. Remember bread is good, detergent is also good but the mix up is an unproductive waste either for cleaning or consumption.

Make your circle as tight as possible, THE FEWER THE MERRIER

-Jennifer Kaja for Not Just A Pretty Face Org.

Image credit : Destiny’s Child

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