Anna got a new high-paying job. Gloria lost 20 pounds. Bola is engaged.

Oftentimes, it can seem that everyone is doing amazing except you. Your friends are getting married and having kids while every date you go on seems to end in disaster. Your relatives are getting promoted while you’re stuck in an unsatisfying job. Hell, it could be something as simple as a friend looking amazing all the time while you feel like the long-lost cousin of Jabba the hut. It is perfectly human for us to fall into the pit of self-pity and resentment at others’ achievements, but it doesn’t have to be so.

  • Focus on your own achievements: It is easy to let the light of others’ successes blind you from your own, but if you step out of the light for a moment, your own successes become more evident. Sure, so-and-so might have gotten engaged while you’re still single, but your spiritual life has been on fire this year. Your co-worker might have gotten promoted, but you might have made progress in saving towards a house or retirement. If you think about it enough, you have had successes in your own right and you have no right to belittle yourself.
  • Give off positive energy: When you hear of others’ achievements, celebrate with them, even if you feel down on the inside. Giving off that positive energy not only helps to ward off negative thoughts but creates an atmosphere of joy, which is exactly what you need.
  • Reassess your own goals: Someone else making progress in their lives can either be a source of self-pity or motivation for you to do better in your own life. Look at your life. Are you on your desired path? If yes, continue. If not, reassess and determine what is missing and begin making the necessary changes.
  • Pray: when in a state of dissatisfaction, take the matter to prayer. It might also help to meditate or keep a journal. Identify why exactly you feel the way you do. Some may decide to see a therapist and discuss your feelings without shame.

Regardless of what is going on with other people, your own joy should be paramount. By being happy for others, we indirectly wish happiness on our own selves.

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