It all starts from the moment you lay eyes on her. Apparently, you’ve all of three seconds from that point to leave your mark… smile… approach… say something! From then on it’s a quest, which, for some, will end almost instantly — their first words unfortunately birthing their last. Others, however, will successfully graduate to the next stage, strolling into the “what’s your name? age? job?” interrogation, but yet still fall at the final hurdle — No number… No Pin (I’m old school!). And then there are the lucky ones, call them the charmers… players… brothers with a little game… now they conquer. But what next? A few raunchy messages followed by a steamy late night conversation or two… First Date… Second… First kiss… Mind blowing sex? That’s what you see in the movies right? – Banji Makanjuola
As unimaginable amazing as that scenario may seem, sex in real life just isn’t the same. We have women swearing to have 20 orgasms in 10mins and men telling stories of how they last all night in bed…. Really People? I’d be lying if I said I hate sex — not in the slightest. Now don’t get me wrong, sex is good and enjoyable, it is the primal force, but I just don’t understand the crazy hype. I am not taking away from the blessing to be able to hold your partner and experience the different heights of pleasure and intimacy that sex can bring to a relationship. But I believe unless there is something significant between you and your partner, just like the high of a drug, the euphoria will only last for a short while.
So, we ask ourselves the question — if it’s only going to be a temporary bliss that will inevitably leave us feeling discontent later — why? Was it worth it?
Minding my business in a staff meeting, the subject of men came up – women giving their opinions on their best sexual experiences. In my naivety, I interrupted the conversation, suggesting that maybe sex was a little overrated. “You did it with the wrong person,” one joked, the others laughed. Maybe so, but I stood by my decision. I am not an expect of any sort, but to me, sex is a form of communication – body language, hearts connecting and souls intertwining. Call me old fashion.
Friends with benefits, fuck buddies, one-night stands… They all revolve around the idea that sex has more substance that a relationship putting a lot of emphasis and value on physical closeness and debunk the idea of emotional closeness.
I don’t need sex in the same way I need love. I don’t need an orgasm in the same way that I need affection. I can go weeks – if not months without having sex with anyone, and I have, but I can’t go months without having a meaningful deep conversation or a heartening hug. There is a substitution for sex, people use sex toys or pleasure themselves but there is no superficial way to feel an empty emotional space in your heart.
But there is always going to be a difference of opinion. That’s be beauty of being an individual. Like Drake said ‘ YOLO’ – you only live once, right? And who am I to judge?
So tell us, Is Sex Overrated?