I can remember April 1, 2011 – day 1, like it was yesterday.
I had been to the doctor just a few days prior for a mammogram and biopsy and was expecting the call on this day. I was told my chances of this condition being what it ended up being was 50-50 but I was optimistic. Even though all the signs pointed to cancer, I was still optimistic. “I’m just not the cancer-having type,” I thought. Unfortunately, that call came in and my life changed. the weeks, months, and years that followed were a blur. I just remember needing to start treatment, finish school and get past it. Although it would take some time for me to come to terms with the fact that there is no getting past it. Everything happens for a reason. It changed me and is part of my story now.
If anyone has ever suffered a terminal illness, you know that at a certain point, giving up makes a lot of sense in a lot of ways. We don’t say that out loud but it’s the truth. I thought a lot about how I was going to live my life. For some years, it was something I hid from people. Not wanting anyone to know and just figuring out how to live “normally.” Then, more recently, I’ve felt compelled to share with more and more people. In the past 10 years I’ve come across wonderful and beautiful people that are struggling with and bottling up traumas that have mentally crippled them, thinking they’re alone.
To anyone reading this that understands this pain, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Life is hard and at some point, we all will go through something that will have us contemplating all of our life choices. But my message to you today is that you are strong enough to not only go through it but glow through it. I hope this helps someone.