It should be known that Onyi Ukorah had a secret.
It wasn’t a very big secret, nothing that would bring down National Assembly or dethrone the president . . . nothing that would destroy my family or anyone else’s . . . but it was a rather hilarious secret personally—one I tried very hard to forget whenever I could…
I have attended a fantasy traditional marriage just so I could go on a weekend get away with friends.
I wouldn’t say I’ve had an eventful life but to an extent my life has indeed been colorful.
I never knew there was a world outside my daily routine of living a sheltered life where all I knew was my family, school, church in that order, until an invitation to a weekend get away.
You see I grew up in a small town, nothing fantastic or touristy about the place, I never had an opportunity to explore other towns or visit cool places. So on a faithful Wednesday in school, my friends and I planned a weekend trip to the oil state, Port Harcourt. You should have seen my excitement, it was palpable, I couldn’t sleep properly that night I mauled over what excuse I could come up with in-order to make the trip. I tossed and turned all night and still came up with nothing, I decided to let my friends know the next day that this wasn’t going to work out for me, remember my family I mentioned earlier, well, my papa and mama won’t like the idea that a bunch of 20 year olds will be let loose in a big city like PH their daughter inclusive even though our plan involved one of my friends auntie chaperoning.
When we met up the following day after school, I broke the news, followed with cogent reasons of why I couldn’t go. One of my friends, just wouldn’t take no for an answer, she suggested that I use her as an excuse- how can you possibly help my situation? I asked in a calm voice not belying my confusion at the suggestion and how exasperated I felt about not going on the trip.
She looked at me with a glint in her eyes because she wears glasses and proposed I tell them that a friend of mine was getting married traditionally, she also went further to suggest that we all contribute money for the fabric so I could make the attire for the supposed traditional marriage. I felt a nervous chill run through my whole body, I didn’t know if it was from excitement or fear of doing something “bad” for the first time. I got home that day and broke the news of my friend’s traditional marriage to my parents and they took it rather well, I told them the “Aseobi” were for free so they wouldn’t make a fuss about spending money.
Up until recently, my mom always asked about my friend and her “hubby” I just had to put an end to that charade by telling her the truth, at least now I’m an adult I can get away with revealing the truth, I’m not going to be punished for a lie told many years ago, or so I thought, it should be noted that my mama didn’t take that bit of revelation very well.
The shenanigans we got up to as kids/teenagers/adults makes me wonder how tasking being a parent really is, I would love a Pinocchio nose on all my kids, so once you tell a lie, it grows longer. One can only hope.
Have you ever told a white lie in order to have fun? If yes do share your experience in the comment box below, will really love to read them.
Thanks for reading!