Few places take marriage as serious as Nigerians. In the hierarchy of importance, marriage comes probably only second to money. It’s not like Nigerians expressly love love, but love marriage. So obsessed that we put an unofficial timeline to it. It’s commonly joked about that beyond 25, no one is expected to be unmarried and many female celebrities who are single beyond that age are subject to endless jokes, rumors and unsolicited ‘advice’. It often seems like it’s in every woman’s best interest to simply get the whole marriage thing over with before that age. But do you really want to?
One of the greatest joys of online shopping is the ability to take your time. You can bookmark and return to an item dozens of times before you make your decision without any pressure. More often than not, you make an informed and well-thought-out decision. Now, the dating market is less lenient and forgiving, but a similar principle applies. It’s very easy to settle for whoever is ‘good enough’ at the ‘right time’, but is it wise?
Imagine you were trying to pick a pair of shoes for an important event. You’d take your time, search by color, make, design and even brand. Now, imagine you’d wear those shoes everywhere for the rest of your life. No changing, no substitutes, and no back-ups. You’d spend a whole lot more time looking and double-checking to make sure it was the right fit. That’s sort of how marriage is. The person in question will live, eat, sleep and raise a family with you till one of you drops dead. That’s an awfully long time to be with someone you picked because you wanted to get it over with on time.
It’s a popular online joke that women who are ‘too picky’ will end up single in their 30s and desperate for’any man’. While there is some wisdom in starting a family early, it is incredibly insulting to both yourself and the man in question to enter into a marriage because “What I wanted wasn’t available and so I managed you.” What becomes of the marriage after 20 years of managing.
Marriage by its definition is supposed to be for life. You wouldn’t rush into a career because of its finality, and so you shouldn’t rush into a marriage. Live your life, find the right one and resist the urge to rush into what you cant rush out of.